"Watch the badgers," Mother used to say, "They never let go. Cause wedges of sound that make children cry and suck the marrow from your bones."
I relented. Kept an eye out.
"Watch the geese," said my Father, "since the spit’ll take yer home to drown your sorrows,s plit hairs and break the enzymes from your food..."
Ah, the excuses I could make...
"Watch the pigs," my brother used to say, "since the boars out East will wreck your legs, leave hairs on the pillow and won’t take the stabbing’s lightly..."
"Mind your moutth, " our Granny used to say, "tthere’s nothing worse tthan language tthat could fill a trough. We’ll soap your mouth and brush your eyes so shitting well pass the soap."
All I could think of was Spongebob.